The Floor

Conflict often escalates not because people disagree, but because they do not feel heard. When emotions are high, the goal should not be to win the conversation, defend yourself immediately, or prove a point. The goal is to slow down, listen carefully, and communicate in a way that helps the other person feel respected and understood.

A helpful way to approach conflict is to focus first on listening, then on responding. Listening well creates space for honesty. Responding well shows that you care about what was shared, even when the conversation is difficult. The following practices can help create a calmer, more respectful conversation during conflict.

While They’re Talking . . .

• Put your phone away.

• Keep eye contact.

• Don’t interrupt.

• Don’ plan your response.

• Pay attention to their body language and tone.

• Let them get completely finished.

What You Say When They Finish . . .

• “Tell me more about that.”

• “How did that make you feel?”

• “What do you need from me right now?”

• Reflect upon their words, “So you’re saying…”

• “That makes sense because…”